Peer Review: Persuasive Letter

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Peer Review: Persuasive Letter

Galkowski’s Letter

Foremost, the thesis statement in the letter by Brett Galkowski occurred in the first paragraph. The writer establishes a clear introduction to the concept of spearheading the growth of Blizzard Entertainment into the mainstream enterprise. Its focus can be identified in the first paragraph. The letter identifies that the expansion of the gaming experience is likely to ensure that players view their extended logs. Such an experience is likely to be advanced by allowing players to probe into the game and achieve satisfaction. This explanation makes it easier for the reader to understand the objective and arguments posited by the author. Consequently, the author manages to foreshadow the specific points that would be applied to facilitate his argument even though he does not offer a guideline regarding the letter’s contents.

            The first paragraph in Galkowski’s letter introduces the audience to the subject under discussion. The author argues that the card game, Hearthstone, provided by Blizzard Entertainment can still be improved upon despite its success. The author uses logos in supporting this argument due to the way he uses evidence such as absent statistics features and in-client match history as formidable issues. Logos is also used when the author illustrates the impact that addressing these issues will impose on Hearthstone’s success. The reliance on this appeal was rather convincing because it makes the argument logical and practical. The letter’s logical sequence also ensures that the reader will understand its contents.

Outline: Galkowski’s Letter

1. Introduction:
   1. Devoted players will be rewarded with the ability to delve deeper into the game itself, and in turn will become much more satisfied customers
2. Discussion:
   1. The addition of this match tracking system will engage the skill and feedback areas of well-documented game flow models.
3. Conclusion:
   1. The expansion will improve player engagement, foster a vibrant community, and yield additional safety for the user base of Hearthstone.

Galkowski’s letter has a number of persuasive arguments supporting Hearthstone’s expansion approaches and benefits. However, the author may have included more evidence to back up the claims such as initial projects that have succeeded in increasing customer satisfaction and experience. Similarly, non-factual information needs to be cited, which includes using phrases such as “it has already been studied.” The letter to Mr. Brode possesses no grammatical errors but has a number of sentence structure errors. The outline is a good summary of the entire correspondence. It would be made better by increasing the amount of evidence to support the author’s arguments.

Letter to Pierre Omidyar

The thesis statement in the letter addressed to Pierre Omidyar occurs in the first paragraph. Accordingly, the author identifies the specific objective in the introduction section. It was also simple to determine the subject that the author was going to convince the reader about since the writer recognizes that a permanent sales record is capable of facilitating resolution of business confliction, analysis of business and better consumer experience. In this letter, the author did not foreshadow the points that would be used to support their arguments but offered a guideline of the contents of the letter.

The first paragraph in the letter to Pierre Omidyar also uses logos as shown by the use of facts and supporting information to affirm the position that permanent sales records are essential in spearheading business success. Since the objective involves arguing for a permanent sales record, the author’s use of logos is evidenced by the use of statistics such as the millions of active customers that use eBay for commercial transactions. It follows a logical sequence by using examples from organizations such as PayPal within the discussion section. Finally, it possesses a conclusion that summarizes the contents of the letter. For this reason, it is possible to recognize that both letters relay clear, logical arguments that convince the intended audience.

Outline: Letter to Pierre Omidyar

1. Introduction:
2. Permanent sales record is necessary to facilitate the resolution of business confliction, business analysis and provide better customer experience.
3. Discussion:
4. Information from selling records provides necessary support in resolving these cases by a third party.
5. Conclusion:
   1. Permanent sales record provides documented evidence for confliction investigation.

The letter to Pierre Omidyar backs up most of its information with references but fails to cite them. The author needs to identify the meaning of antonyms before using them. This fact applies to phrases such as customer-to-customer (C2C). There are some grammatical errors in the letter to Pierre Omidyar such as the use of “them” and “him and her.” The letter to Mr. Brode possesses no grammatical errors but has a number of sentence structure errors. The outline for this is a great synopsis of the entire letter. Nonetheless, it would also be improved by enhancing the supporting evidence used for the author’s claims.